Doodeedoo? It’s life, Jim, as my washing basket knows it. @TGilbertAuthor #audiobook #childrensbook

Doodeedoo by The Gilberts

Let’s get one thing clear right from the start. When this author stitches body-parts together and brings them to life it’s cute. When I do it apparently it’s a crime against nature. Doodeedoo by The Gilberts

Doodeedoo [Unabridged] [Audible Audio Edition].

Available on

and on

This is the tale of Doodeedoo, who was made of socks and superglue by a little mouse with tiny paws, red painted lips, and well-trimmed claws.

She’d read a book called Frankenstein but never passed page 109, and as she said, “I’ll have a go!” The mouse picked up some thread to sew… And so the tale goes.

A fun story for children, written in rhyme, and a lesson in not judging a book by its cover… so to speak.

Actually, it is pretty cute. The audio version is narrated by chaps with extremely pleasant voices. Stick it on at bedtime and the fruit of your loins, the old (young) heirs and spares, the future generations of you will listen to the end, demand another and another, and then eventually fall asleep (when the Phenobarbitol-in-warm-milk kicks in).

You can find out a whole lot more by connecting with the author chap.


Also available in most splendiferous #kindle and #paperback versions

Let No Stranger Wait Outside Your Door – by @LouKief #lgbt #kindle #paperback

'Let No Stranger Wait Outside Your Door' by Lou Kief

‘Let No Stranger Wait Outside Your Door’ by Lou Kief

Another time, another place, a million miles away from my own experiences in England’s Lincolnshire.

Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Connect with Lou via

Twitter @LouKief
Lou’s blog

A Delicious Slice of LGBT Social History 8 July 2013
By Jack Scott

Have you ever wondered what it was really like to fandango your way through the delicious days of San Francisco before AIDS burst the bubble and gate-crashed the party? For a succulent slice of warts and wonders social history, look no further than `Let No Stranger Wait Outside Your Door,’ Lou Kief’s erudite, funny, touching, and beautifully crafted memoir. Lou lived the dream and, unlike many of his contemporaries, lived to tell the tale. And he tells it well. Those extra-ordinary times of leather and lashes, bears and ballerinas, sex, drugs and steamy saunas leap from the page. But there is more to this book than a diet of Devil-may-care decadence. This is an intensely personal journey of trans-continental proportions, from Lou’s early days of furtive fumblings as a young paramedic in Detroit to the fast lane of the Misty City, baring it all among the redwoods and choppy adventures on the high seas. Informative and expansive, the narrative is laced with glorious anecdotes, incisive political comment, a respect for history and a real love of humanity.

You must read this book. 8 May 2013
By Jonathan Welford

What I thought would be a simple, straightforward personal memoir of a gay man coming to terms with his sexuality in 1960s America turned out to be so much more. His escape from the dark clouds of the hard as nails and un-moveable social expectations of Detroit to the open minded and sun drenched state of California. Lou swept me away in the moments of gay social history. From leaving the violence and racial tensions of the Detroit riots moving to the inclusive gay scene in San Francisco.

Many places and times that have set the foundation for American Gay Rights, Lou was there living through it. He even goes to explain how he was personally affected by the murder of friend and the first openly gay politician Harvey Milk.

The depiction of the inclusive gay community of San Francisco seems such an age away. In his beautiful strokes of prose, the era is bought to the reader with a technicolor panorama. I would even go to say there is an essence of Armistead Maupin and the most popular Tales of City saga.

What moved me in this amazingly delicious novel were the friendships and relationships Lou has made in his life. The way he describes how the gay community dynamic worked. Sadly it’s a community that has long since been depleted.

Through this book I found myself bathing in the warmth of the friendships and relationships that Lou made and encountered. They became my friends and I immediately cared for them in an equal measure to which is a credit to his writing style.

Unfortunately the AIDS epidemic all but wiped out this generation. At the end of the book, Lou has given tribute to these friendships honoring each friend with a moving obituary. Every friend, relationship and encounter that made an impact on Lou’s life has now made an impact on mine.

This book is part of social history. It is unique as the writer is not a celebrity. He’s not a public personality, he is a normal gay man, who lived a normal gay life in an amazingly embracing place and time.

Enough said. ‘Let No Stranger Wait Outside Your Door’ by Lou Kief is available via all of the usual channels including ordering via your local bookshop.

Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Connect with Lou via

Twitter @LouKief
Lou’s blog

About Lou

Lou Kief was born in Detroit, Michigan in 1945. The son of a carpenter and a self-educated mother, from childhood Lou had an insatiable appetite for writing, designing and building things with his hands. A closeted gay man as a young adult, in the 1960’s he ran away to San Francisco and found himself in the middle of the most significant period in the history of gay liberation. Of the many places and times that have set the foundation for American gay rights, Lou was there living through it.

He attended summer journalism classes at the University of Detroit and later at San Francisco State University and wrote for trade publications including Harcourt Brace Jovanovich business magazines, Furniture World magazine and the trade journal of the National Home Furnishings Association. From the late l970’s on, Lou began to work with retailers across the United States and Canada. In 1990 he was Vice-President of Bryant Forney Associates, a store planning firm in San Francisco before leaving to start his own company with Bill Walls designing and remodeling stores.

Lou is a highly regarded motivational speaker and has presented numerous seminars and workshops for the National Home Furnishings and California Home Furnishings associations as well as Furniture Today and the California Vintners Association. Currently he and his partner of 34 years, Bill, live in Guadalajara, Mexico and share a home with Katrina, a huge, not very lady-like Neapolitan Mastiff, Mexi-cats; Diego, Frida & Trotsky, and Rocco, a pushy Amazon Parrot. In 2010 Lou released “In All the Silent Manliness”, a novel of family loss and grief. In 2012, he and his partner, Bill Walls co-wrote “Doing Retail Right” to help retailers stay motivated and successful as the worlds of brick and mortar stores began to collide with virtual retailing. The release of “Let No Stranger Wait Outside Your Door” is his memoir about coming out and San Francisco during the 1970s.


Groovy #FREE #BOOKS incl The Diesel-Electric Elephant Company #SciFi #Cult #stuff

Cult Classics for the Modern Cult, edited by Michelle Brown

Cult Classics for the Modern Cult, edited by Michelle Brown

Ten insane short stories from the B-movie realm fill out this anthology. There’s a little violence, some adult (18+) content, and a lot of completely bizarre creatures. Straighten your altar to the dark gods, pop open a can of your favorite mutagen, and hold on tight–there are threats much bigger than Godzilla, and they’re coming to a Kindle near you.

My own humble contribution labours under the title ‘One Saturday, Almost 2,000 Years A.D.’ and features an homage to the late, great, lovely Miss Rutherford – all mixed up with a government satellite, stockpiles of dinosaur DNA and death by pterobudgie.

Beware the velociducks. Download it from AMAZON here. #FREE

A World of Worlds

A World of Worlds

Eighteen authors, representing dozens in the Writer’s Circle of ASMSG, pour their hearts, souls, and imaginations into stories of Other World Sci-Fi, Fantasy and paranormal. Become lost in these genre-bending works and discover gems of short fiction by new authors. From space opera to alien worlds to wizards and warlocks, there’s a little something for everyone.

COG—Bryan P. Clark
THE BAD SEED—Erin McDowell
BOONE’S JOURNEY—Kirstin Pulioff
EXPECTATION—Michael Barnett
AGE QUEST—Michael K. Eidson
GUIDING STAR—Teresa Garcia

My ‘umble contribution (also labours) under the title of The Cat Wore Electric Goggles – rocket ships, chaps smoking pipes, cats using litter-trays in space and… aliens. It is the title story in the full collection of the same name, a collection that features only my works, ha ha ha, ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa. [Resumes poker-face and ceases cackling, looks slightly sheepish and embarrassed. Detail on this website to your right. Other collections are available. Mention of my own work implies endorsement. Lots of animals were harmed during the writing of these books, but not by me. All persons living or dead are purely coincidental, and any mention of them in this work is more than they deserve.]

Find it in all sorts of groovy ebook formats from SMASHWORDS here. #FREE

Kitten-cat almost guarantees that you won’t live to regret it.

Don’t make the kitten-cat mad. You wouldn’t like the kitten-cat when he’s mad.

A cat with electric goggles.

A cat with electric goggles.

Connectivism & Connected Knowledge: A Personal Journey from @profesortbaker #asmsg

Connectivism & Connected Knowledge: A Personal Journey

Connectivism & Connected Knowledge: A Personal Journey

**This book is an introduction – a point of departure – a beginning, a place to start for anyone who is interested in Connectivism and Connected Knowledge.**

Connectivism & Connected Knowledge tells the story of my journey from isolation to becoming globally connected to sources of knowledge. It is a personal journey that begins with a proposition: self-improvement that also benefits others. I go back in time to share this journey with you, certain that it will also benefit you personally, and the members of your personal and professional learning network also.

Connectivism has been called a theory of learning for a digital age. After you read this book, you will have knowledge of how connectivism can benefit you, both personally and professionally.

More detail on AMAZON here.

Opened Me up to a New Way December 25, 2013
By Diva Reader75
Format:Kindle Edition
“No matter how the story makes you feel (agree, disagree, positive, negative, happy, sad, etc.), it’s always going to be based in reality. That’s the way life works, because it’s real. We can’t wish for a different reality, to do so would be delusional at worst, an escape from reality, at best.”

I couldn’t agree more with the author. Whether you agree or disagree with the authors assumptions this title makes you think and open your mind to more. Prior to reading this I hadn’t thought much about connectivism but now I understand it’s a simple part of life. Well written and eye opening.

NEW – The Cat Wore Electric Goggles, by Mr Ian Hutson. #SciFi d’old-fashioned splendid

Post-apocalyptic pin-up man models with the first copy of The Cat Wore Electric Goggles, by Mr Ian Hutson.

Post-apocalyptic pin-up man models with the first copy of The Cat Wore Electric Goggles, by Mr Ian Hutson.


If variety is the spice of life then this collection is a damnably splendid curry of improbable human conditions and improbable human beings. The ingredients include a spot of gentle medieval scifi, proper rocket ships, alien invasion of England, secret government satellites crashing and releasing stockpiled dinosaur DNA, insane Cold War time travel, groovy Victorian orang-utans in space, the televising of England’s first Moon landing, a very rude first contact, young Mr Darwin’s explanation of evolution placed in startling juxtaposition to flora and fauna on a distant planet, one or two maritime ghosts, a terrifying new virus and a detective with a serious career problem. I refrain for obvious reasons from mentioning here the elderly ladies in fur bikinis, and the least said about the Austin-Morris Motor Car Company’s robotic labour relations the better. Suffice it to say that the man from the past isn’t happy, and all’s well that ends well, provided that you’re a whale.

  • The Cat Wore Electric Goggles
  • One Saturday, Almost 2,000 Years A.D.
  • VTC = 1:1 +/- H times ATP
  • The Improvement Engine
  • One Small Step for Ma’am, One Giant Leap for Ma’amkind
  • The Unfortunate Fatal Incident at 7 AU
  • Tiger, Tiger, Burning Bright
  • Shall I be Mother?
  • The Especial Relevance of Cowpats
  • You fools! You fools! You insensible fools!
  • The Truth, The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth
  • The Almost Omnipresent Omniscient Monks


[iTunes, Barnes & Noble et al are on the way - "processing"]

The #SFFiction Serious Flash Fiction Anthology – and I’m in it! @Ben_Warden #FREE #amreading

The Serious Flash Fiction Anthology edited by Mr Ben Warden

The Serious Flash Fiction Anthology edited by Mr Ben Warden

My shortest published work – 129 characters.

To read it you’ll need to set aside five or six minutes to read the whole of the Serious Flash Fiction Anthology edited by Mr Ben Warden. Look for me under my Twitter ID of @dieselelephants.

It’s FREE!

To grab your copy just follow the yellow brick… I mean, just follow this link, this one here – yes, this one.

AND, while you’re there, don’t forget that Ben Warden is the author of LIFE WITHOUT. Available on Amazon here in #kindle and #paperback format.

STEVEN GOODMAN has everything! He attends all the most glamorous functions and his multi-million pound Notting Hill flat is full of luxurious spaces, gizmo’s and gadgets. However Steve’s life is not as perfect as it seems. In his flat, behind a locked door, is everything that reminds him of SOPHIE. Almost one year on from the Valentine’s day that ended their marriage, Steve still hasn’t managed to get one word from the girl that he used to describe as his butterfly.

In a desperate and immature bid to regain some happiness Steve throws himself, and all his money, at a high risk venture. Going into business with JULIAN STROKE, a famous but highly strung artist, seems like the perfect solution to the missing excitement in his life. Regrettably Steve soon realises that the instant bond he felt with Julian is due to the fact that Julian’s personality is a personification of his own. His energy, his charisma and his daemons!

As the new venture takes a twist, throwing him back into Sophie’s life, Steve finds his relationships, his venture, his sanity and his money pushed to the brink. …

If you twitt, tweet or twerp you can also follow Ben on Twitter here @Ben_Warden.

Ben has an electric website available on the interwebbings, much as this one is, and this may be found by clicking here for This is odd, because I didn’t realise that he also went by the name of Benwar Dena Uthor.

Life Without by Mr Ben Warden

Life Without by Mr Ben Warden

Vision And Verse website finally interviews Mr Aaron David @AaronDavid97 #asmsg

Vision and Verse

Vision and Verse

Well it had to happen sooner or later – Vision and Verse website have interviewed Mr Aaron David, a small but perfectly formed and oddly literate peasant from Bolton, in the north of England.

That is to say that Bolton is in the north of England, I have no idea where the interview took place.

Nip along and have a butchers, if you think you’re hard enough.

Click here – Vision and Verse.

Mr David is, of course, the convicted author of ‘The Tale of the Ancient Marina‘, ‘The Skiffies‘, ‘Rhyming Stuff‘ and ‘The Almost Engish Dictionaary‘.

Why does “Mr David” put me in mind of the name of some fashion guru? The Spring collection by Mr David…


Splendid stuff.

Have a quick peer into his soul.

Bother him on Twitter @aarondavid97

Stalk him on FaceBook….

From a gentleman on the spot – Pakistan, Peace, Terrorism & Agency Rules #asmsg

Agency Rules by Khalid Muhammad

Agency Rules by Khalid Muhammad

We all know how reliable the members of Her Majesty’s media are (are not).

So, if you’re at all curious about another, much more reliable viewpoint on Pakistan and terrorism and what is really happening in the country, how and to whom – why not read what a gentleman on the spot has to say?

I firmly believe that most sane, rational people simply want to get on with living their own lives, and couldn’t give a rat’s arse what the neighbours do so long as they keep the grass cut and don’t play their music too loudly.

I also firmly believe that the press report what is easy to report, what they are told to report, and that this rarely gives a full or accurate picture.

I don’t like or have any respect for Protestantism, Catholicism, Islam or any of the other thousands of cults, and I don’t – for obvious reasons – have any fondness for violence, whatever the motivation. Having worked hard to free ourselves in England of the yoke of Protestantism and Catholicism I am somewhat reluctant to accept acquiescence to the demands of yet a third bunch. As an avowed atheist with zero – less than zero – respect for any religion I’m trying to separate out in my mind my extreme distaste for the burgeoning rise of the influence of Islam in my home country from the violence and nastiness of terrorism anywhere and everywhere, by whomsoever committed (H.M. Govt., U.S. Govt., the “The Taliban” or any other group). Religion and terrorism, although obviously sometimes linked, are different issues in their own right. In my view equally insidious, but generally separate as far as the majority are concerned. I don’t believe that the Crusades, for example, represented the religiously-driven life-views average England-dwelling peasant grunt! The Inquisitions weren’t everyone’s cup of tea and, while religions are plain daft, not everyone who is religious is a terrorist even in the current “bad boy” group of Islam.

The presses (and the governments behind them) are very happy to conflate the issues in order to make it easier to foster an atmosphere of global fear, thus facilitating and strengthening their control. I am old enough to remember the days when politicians in England were elected on the basis of making things better, of improvement, whereas now they simply plonk their hairy arses on the benches on a platform of “protecting us” from some nebulous global terrorist threat.

We’re all quick to demonise huge groups of our fellow creatures, whether we have proof or not, simply because it’s easy, and because we usually think on the same level as sheep.

To stay sane, you need to add some detail to the picture, and to add a little credible data – and they’re both hard to come by.

You can start to get an inkling of the disparity of the usual reporting compared with the real problem by reading

this FaceBook thread (click here) and by reading

the book Agency Rules, available from the usual outlets by clicking here.

Add all of the information to the pot, and at least think for yourself.

Coming soon! The Cat Wore Electric Goggles – a load of old-fashioned #SciFi

The Cat Wore Electric Goggles - COMING VERY SOON...

The Cat Wore Electric Goggles – COMING VERY SOON…

COMING VERY SOON! ‘The Cat Wore Electric Goggles’ – a collection of deliciously old-fashioned science fiction.

Everything from medieval scifi to space rockets to alien first contact as it really will be. From a re-thinking of evolution on far-distant planets to Victorian steam-orangutans.

The title story also appears in the FREE collection ‘A World of Worlds’ available here in all formats on SMASHWORDS.


While you wait why not try NGLND XPX – another load of old-fashioned SciFi.

Amazon #kindle

Barnes & Noble #kobo

Apple #iTunes

Smashwords – all formats.

And the psychiatrist said ‘So, tell me about your maternal production engineer’


A little snippet, an out-take that appears absolutely no-where in the book, and never did. An extremely short short. A short short among shorts. Very short.


Deeceeaye Fourfourfive was a policeman in crisis. Mechanically, he was in perfect order but mentally? In mental terms he was a gibbering wreck, so much so that he’d decided to spend three thousand six hundred billion nanoseconds in the offices of a backstreet psychiatrist. For the sake of professional discretion he’d announced himself to the receptionist as Mr John Smith. This in itself was a problem, since his social circuits didn’t respond when Dr Haynes-Maintenance invited “Mr Smith” to lie down on the couch and then offered the usual cliche of ‘So, tell me about your maternal production engineer’.

‘John – may I call you John? What do you feel that the problem is?’

‘Oh, the problem’s not mine, Doc – I’m here on behalf of a friend.’

Dr Haynes-Maintenance began a whole new doodle in his notebook; a yacht with triangular sails, crossing a spectacular sunset.

‘Your friend’s problem then…’

‘My friend’s a detective, but things just aren’t working out. He’s just not getting the results that he should.’

‘A poor arrest rate?’ The good doctor added dolphins to the scene, and a topless bosun’s mate on deck.

‘Ruddy dismal.’

‘And this bothers your friend?’

Deeceeaye looked across at the doctor and knitted his eyebrows in a frown.

‘He’s about to be fired and lose his pension, Doc – everything. He’s a laughing-stock at the station.’

‘And why do you think he’s a laughing-stock?’

Deeceeaye Fourfourfive wondered if the doctor was actually switched on, and checked around for a loose mains lead. Not finding one he concluded that the doctor was probably organic or running on batteries.

‘Because people are laughing at him. No-one takes him seriously.’

The doctor added a couple of topless deckhands to his sketch, and he recrossed his legs, showing mismatched socks.

‘Why do you think that your friend’s arrest rate is so poor?’

‘Criminals – he just can’t judge when criminals are lying to him. He can build up a multi-dimensional model of a crime scene and can cross-match every sequence of movements before and after a crime, but unless there’s a mechanical discrepancy in the model he just can’t tell if people are lying. Criminals lie a lot. Humans can think one thing and say quite another. It’s most disconcerting. Only last week I came across a chap standing over a non-functional body. He was holding a smoking gun. I asked him if he’d just committed murder.’

‘What did he say?’

‘He assured me that he hadn’t, so logically I had to let him go.’

‘Was that a problem for you? I mean, a problem for your friend?’

‘The man stole my patrol car and shot four more people that morning including the Chief Constable. How do you do it, Doc? How do humans tell if someone is lying?’

‘Instinct, mostly. That and the little signs that trip people up. I can tell that you’re lying right now.’

‘Me, Doc? What am I lying about?’

‘Your name. You booked in as John Smith, and I know you’re not. I also know that you’re getting bullied at work.’

‘See? That’s what I mean! How can you do that? It’s incredible. I’m a professional, experienced, fully-trained iDetective iChief iInspector who can process eighteen trillion calculations a second, Doc, and yet you’ve caught me out in just fifty minutes of questioning. How? How do you know?’

‘Well, you’ve got “Robot DCI 445” stencilled across your forehead, and there’s a “Kick me” sign Sellotaped to your back.’

Deeceeaye Fourfourfive paid for his session and then popped his Trilby back on his head and turned up the collar of his mackintosh. Dr Haynes-Maintenance sketched in a few seagulls and named his yacht “Retirement”.

‘So, Mr Smith, I hope our session has been of some use to you.’

‘You’ve been great, Doc, but I can’t stay here jabbering on – I have a graffiti artist to track down and a Sellotape dispenser to arrest. If I can just catch those two then maybe I won’t look like such an idiot.’